WBRS Sports Blog

So I'm going to start granting you a little preview column here every Friday as I nurse 5 cups of malt liquor. Expect bitterness, anger and drinking advice. For what else should you expect from a sports-crazed alcoholic drinking alone at 9am on a Friday.

Now why am I starting in week 7? Well the majority of past Friday mornings have been spent waking up in gutters out of reach of wireless internet or in the free clinic trying to figure out what the hell caused this itch. I've also blacked out weeks 2-4.

Week 7 is brought to you by Steel Reserve:

Steel Reserve: The cheapest way to get shit drunk

SF @ NYG: Poor Alex Smith. After having Julian Peterson go Zangief on him, he comes back in time to face Osi "Blanka" Umenyiora, a vicious sack machine. Mormon way of watching the game: drink only when SF scores a TD. Irish way: drink whenever the SF qb gets hit.

Osi holding down and hitting punch

Ten @ Hou: Blah blah blah Vince Young. Blah blah blah Mario Wiliams. The real story is Eric Moulds getting back at his old team. To be honest, I didn't know Moulds

a) was still alive

b) was a starting WR for Tennesse

c) previously played for the Texans.

In honor of Moulds, bottoms up for every catch. Shit, take a drink every time someone even tries to throw to him. And let's not forget the true potential star of this game: Kerry Collins. Get the moonshine ready for our good ol' country boy. Start drinking from the time he enters the game until the time he completes a pass. Then walk outside and punch a Mexican in the eye and yell "That's for fucking with my boy Kerry!"

Ari @ Was: When Tim Rattay throws more than 2 passes in game, his teams are 5-22. When Jason Cambpell is feeling frisky, he gets freaky with her. I think we know who the winning QB is before this game has started. Screen shots of Tim Hasselbeck get a drink. Screen shots of Elisabeth Hasselbeck get a shot of scotch. Screen shots of Rosie O'Donnell take a bottle of scotch just to get that image out of our vulnerable brains.

Atl @ NO: Reggie Bush said he's rebuilding New Orleans 1-win at a time; the way the Saints are playing, they're getting things back in order even slower than the Bush administration. If any game were to call for Vodka, this one is it. Go buy some Absolut, it's at least giving some money back to NO. Then just drink that until you no longer notice Drew Brees' birthmark.

NE @ Mia: Quick name a Miami WR! If you named Ted Ginn, get yourself a Miller Light. For Marty Booker, give yourself a MGD. For Derek Hagan, you sir get a High Life. If you said Chris Chambers, you have to go drink a six pack of Genny. This is kind of how the game is going to look like. Miami's only shot is to try to take out NE's ankles and then it's going to just get really really ugly. Grab a forty for this one and be ready to pour out a few drops when Adalius Thomas kills Trent Green.

TB @ Det: I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that either the Bucs are going to continue its good defense and win or the Lions are going to score a lot and win. Sip of a wine cooler for every Jeff Garcia completed pass. Down a bottle of Baptist's Beer if Jon Kitna is touched again by the hand of God. If Calvin "Megatron" Johnson transforms back into a Tank, slowly put down the bottle and back away from the TV.

Bal @ Buf: There is not enough alcohol at my local 7-11 that could get me through this game.

NYJ @ Cin: Expect a 35-35 tie. Neither team deserves to win this game. Easy drinking guidelines here - Mormon version: drink for every Bengal tackle. Irish version: drink for every Bengal missed tackle.

StL @ Sea: Dearly beloved we are gathered here today in memoriam of Marc Bulger's ribs. Drink for every Bulger grimace or grab of his ribs. 2 drinks for every time he hits the ground. 3 drinks for any time he has to be taken out of the game. A shot for every time the word "flak jacket "is uttered.

KC @ Oak: I have taken all of the money in my underwear drawer and placed it on the over (37.5). Sure both of these offenses are bad, but their defenses are even worse. With that extra cash, we'll be stepping up from the Steel next week. So think of your good friend the gambling alcoholic here and just drink whenever someone scores.

Chi @ Phi: Drink when McNabb takes 2 or 3 steps forward, loads up and then underthrows a receiver. Drink whenever there's a shot of Rex Grossman. Drink when the Eagles punt away from Hester. Basically drink anytime Hester or Westbrook aren't touching the ball cuz this one's going to be a snooze fest. Luckily all the booze from the first set of games should hit you know and passing out will be easy.

Min @ Dal: Ahh, finally an entertaining afternoon game. Buy a 12-pack of Corona, Dos Equis, Tecate or your favorite Mexican beer. Place those beers on the left side of the couch. Then buy a 12-pack of Budweiser, paint the cans Purple and place them on the right side of the couch. Hold one of each beer. Drink the Mexican one when Romo does well. Drink the Purple Jesus beer when Adrian Peterson acts like the stud he is.

Pit @ Den: The Steelers machine gets to roll through the mile-city. Be sure to break out the Manishevitz as Hines Ward & Steely McBeam exchange vows at halftime! Mazel Tov you two love birds.

That's a wrap. I've finished the ol' 211 and am feeling pumped for Sunday. Godspeed and may your livers forgive me.