Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be.
Hey everybody, it's the Young Nucleus here on the WBRS Sports Blog. I'll be making posts every Tuesday, so keep coming back for that."The Office" makes its triumphant return to the airwaves this Thursday, so I decided that it was an opportune time to combine my love for Dunder-Mifflin with a breakdown of the MLB playoff contenders. Here's a look at each team, with their corresponding Office employee.
NEW YORK
YANKEES: ANDY BERNARDAndy has a pretty good handle on how to get what he wants, and so do the Yankees. They're both hell-bent on success. But Andy and the Yankees are one cellphone in the ceiling away from completely blowing up.
BOSTON RED SOX: JIM HALPERTOK, so there's a lot of people out there who don't like the Red Sox. But Jim is a pretty likable guy, and if you really look at them, the Sox are a fun bunch themselves. Jim has a great chance at success, but he gets distracted by having fun; sounds like Manny Ramirez to me. Oh, and John Krasinski (who plays Jim) is a Massachusetts native.
CLEVELAND INDIANS: CREED BRATTON
Nobody is really sure what to make of Creed; he's dangerous, that's for sure. The Indians are the same way. Sure, they've got Sizemore, Hafner and Martinez, but does that make them a real contender, or just a borderline homeless guy who sleeps in the office four days a week?
LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM: DWIGHT SCHRUTE
The Angels are like Dwight in three respects:
- They are actually fairly potent when it comes down to it.
- They are really annoying because of what they do. The "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" thing is the baseball equivalent of Dwight's random facts about everything (especially beets).
- I want to put all their possessions in Jell-O. (For the Angels, it's because of their stupid name.)
NEW YORK METS: MICHAEL SCOTT
Both of these are very talented, but they have a habit of screwing up at the worst moment possible. Where Michael puts his foot in his mouth, the Mets let the Phillies back into the NL East race. Whoops. Like Michael, the Mets can come through in a bad situation, but they don't always.
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: RYAN HOWARD
A young up-and-comer. Plus, you know, the obvious reason.
ATLANTA BRAVES: TOBY FLENDERSON
Toby used to have a good life; he had a wife and kids. Then he got divorced, and he just looks miserable now. Ladies and gentlemen, the Atlanta Braves! (For those of you who didn't get that, it's because they used to be great, but they look pretty bad now.)
CHICAGO CUBS: STANLEY HUDSON
The Cubs and Stanley are both miserable in their current situation; Stanley would have gladly given up working at Dunder-Mifflin for the severance pay, while the Cubs...well, if they won the World Series this year, I could see them just shutting down for next year. Both Stanley and the Cubs are fixated on one thing. For the Cubs, it's that elusive World Series title. For Stanley? Pretzel day.
ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS: KELLY KAPOOR
They're too young, nobody really likes them, and they're annoyingly energetic. This one was easy. Oh, you were expecting me to use Kelly for the Indians? You racist.
SAN DIEGO PADRES: ANGELA MARTIN
To be honest, the primary reason for this comparison is because Angela is hyper-religious, and the Padres have a religious overtone in their name. But both are more powerful than they seem at first glance, and a whole lot crazier than they should be. Both Angela and the Padres always seem one step away from going absolutely berserk and killing everyone.
COLORADO ROCKIES: KEVIN MALONE
They each do one thing well. The Rockies can hit; Kevin can shred things.
Well, I hope that cleared things up. I know it was a stretch for some of these, but I worked hard on it, so you better appreciate this. See you next Tuesday.
32 Comments:
theres actually a dude on the office named ryan howard? lol
theres actually a dude on the office named ryan howard? lol
This is great stuff! Where are my Texas Rangers though?
That's so true about how everyone likes the red sox, except of course the millions of people who hate them.
May I suggest the Detroit Tigers as Roy Anderson: Once firmly ensconced in the picture; now an afterthought.
I read somewhere that they actually named the character Ryan Howard after a certain young slugger working his way through the Phillies system at AAA Scranton/Wilkes-Barre.
Good stuff, creative, opinionated, but I was I would get pissed off so i could bitch.
Where's Jan? Pam? Karen??
I was thinking Pam Beesly= Detroit Tigers. Why? They both have SO MUCH potential and seem to be hiding it. They both came SO CLOSE to getting what they need (for Pam it's Jim or any guy who treats her better than Roy, for the Tigers it's a World Series title after being the laughing stock of the league for the last 15 some-odd years) and missed their chance. But hey, Pam/Tigers will never truly go away, and they'll get what they work for eventually...
I think the Yankees should be Packer. He is super annoying, no one likes him and he makes the big bucks. That would be a fair comparison
oh and Michael wants to be like him, ie the Mets
LAME !!!!!!
Wow. Extremely impressive; I like. Keep it up.
This was good stuff!
St. Louis Cardinals = Jan Levinson: Had it all last season, now just looking pathetic.
I love the idea of Jan being the Cardinals, especially when you compare Ankeil to her chest, both artificially boosted...
WOW! I love the comparison of Todd Packer to the Yankees, and Jan to the Cardinals...EXCELLENTTTT postings!!!
Wouldn't it figure that a guy from Boston would choose Jim, the show's main protagonist and the person that most viewers seem to like, to represent the Sox.
Dwight as the Yankees: successful but obnoxious. Disliked my most. Rival of Andy.
Andy as the Red Sox: Recently showed up as being obnoxious. Disliked by most. Rival of Dwight.
Jim as the Cubs: Sentimental favorite but can't get it together enough to reach his potential.
Great stuff. I was hoping for a little more with the Creed/Indians, but still great.
Oh and Packer = Yankees is brilliant
You must be a Red Sox fan, because the Red Sox are "Corporate," or everyting that is evil. And no, I am not a Yankee fan.
plus with Packer = Yankees, Jim hates Packer and Packer is just like the moronic Yankee fans that are always making the same stupid jokes to red sox fans "like whats up Halpert, still queer?" what a moron
Yankee fan "how many rings do the Sox have? Or It doesn't take us 86 years to win our next championship"
Maybe if you knew anything about baseball this would be funny. The Rockies can do a little more than hit. Since the all star break they have the best ERA in baseball and for the season have the lowest amount of errors, 65 and they are on pace to set the MLB record for fielding in a season. But other than that all they can do is hit.
that rockies guy is a douche. way to get upset over nothing.... go back to your fantasy baseball, bury your nose in the baseball almanac and stop bothering everyone who is having fun.
St. Louis Cardinals = Meredith
Lots of booze being consumed...
It must be nice to blow off a team like the Indians. They only have the best record in baseball and the best pitching duo (C.C. and Carmona) that any team will be able to throw out in the playoffs.
The Braves as Toby...even after winning 9 of their past 12. Harsh.
Wow, the Sox as fun team? They are the closest thing to Dwight Schrute ever. That was teh first thing I thought of when I saw the premise.
The Young Nucleus knows a thing or two about baseball, for the record.
you are a genius...marry me?
Brilliant and spot on. I'm totally linking to this on my Braves blog.
Office = FUNNY
Your blog entry = LAME
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