Thursday, May 24, 2007
Michael Vick Just Makes It Too Easy
"Turn my headphones up! I can't hear Bone Crusher!"
Ah, Michael Vick. Is there any place you aren't involved these days? You've got dog-fighting on the one hand, and Kissing Suzy Kolber emasculates you completely on a semi-regular basis. You're the man in Atlanta now. So what do you do to top it all off? Why, you make an iTunes playlist, of course! Not only that, but your song selections (and explanations) are unintentionally self-parodies! Good times all around! Let's take a closer look at some of the highlights (heh...high), shall we?
4. "Money, Cash, Hoes"- Jay-Z: "I listen to this when I'm hangin' on my boat fishing."
Because nothing says "I'm a classy and respectable team leader" like "Money, Cash, Hoes".
11. "Never Scared"- Bone Crusher: "When I'm cruisin' in my Mercedes Maybach."
Oh, thank god. I thought he'd be riding around in a 1992 Camry like I do. That shit is for realz.
12. "Why We Die"- Busta Rhymes, DMX and Jay-Z: "Keeping it real."
Maybe Marcus picked this one. Doesn't sound much like Michael's life to me.
13. "Air It Out"- Jadakiss: "Just when I'm hangin' in the backyard with my pitbulls."
OK, this one is just insulting to your dogs and my intelligence. I mean, really? You expect us all to believe that you play this song while you're cuddling Ripper in the backyard? I know for a fact, Mr. Vick, that this is the song you have used to train Ripper, Pavlov-style, to thirst for doggie throat.
I can't believe I found this thing. That said, Mr. Vick seems to have been given only thirteen tracks to express the depths of his soul on iTunes. Allow me to add a few suggestions:
4. "Money, Cash, Hoes"- Jay-Z: "I listen to this when I'm hangin' on my boat fishing."
Because nothing says "I'm a classy and respectable team leader" like "Money, Cash, Hoes".
11. "Never Scared"- Bone Crusher: "When I'm cruisin' in my Mercedes Maybach."
Oh, thank god. I thought he'd be riding around in a 1992 Camry like I do. That shit is for realz.
12. "Why We Die"- Busta Rhymes, DMX and Jay-Z: "Keeping it real."
Maybe Marcus picked this one. Doesn't sound much like Michael's life to me.
13. "Air It Out"- Jadakiss: "Just when I'm hangin' in the backyard with my pitbulls."
OK, this one is just insulting to your dogs and my intelligence. I mean, really? You expect us all to believe that you play this song while you're cuddling Ripper in the backyard? I know for a fact, Mr. Vick, that this is the song you have used to train Ripper, Pavlov-style, to thirst for doggie throat.
I can't believe I found this thing. That said, Mr. Vick seems to have been given only thirteen tracks to express the depths of his soul on iTunes. Allow me to add a few suggestions:
- Ghostface Killah- "Dogs of War"
- Jamie Lidell- "Game for Fools"
- The Lovemakers- "Prepare For The Fight"
- The Beatles- "Hey Bulldog"
22 Comments:
Michael Vick is a douche bag...he has the world by the nuts and he is still a thug
Clinton Portis is another douche bag...what idiotic comments....
But I guess these two assholes what to show their "Street Cred" to their boyz
Morons - you don't have to "train" Pits to fight. It's built into them through years of breeding.
Not all dog fights are to the death, in fact - most owners don't want to lose a "game" dog. They will pick up their dog and take a loss rather than let them die.
Moreover, why is dog fighting seen by many as the moral equivalent of, I don't know, boxing? Yet when pits are confiscated, people are more than happy to kill them?!?! "We love the animals so much that we have to kill them!?!?!"
Kind of like the inquisition burning people at the stake to save their souls, no?
Irony, anyone?
"Maybe Marcus picked this one. Doesn't sound much like Michael's life to me."
When Marcus Vick's life is considered somewhat normal in comparison to yours, you know you have a ton of problems.
Great find, guys.
To respond to a few of the anonymous guys' points, dog fighting isn't the moral equivalent of boxing, b/c boxers enter the ring of their own volition. Dogs are forced into a violent encounter by their owners.
Secondly, the inquisition analogy doesn't hold up because fighting dogs aren't euthanized to protect themselves. They're done so to protect the people and animals around them. It's an unfortunate, but unavoidable consequence of irresponsible ownership.
You guys really dont like vick do you?
you swear he's had sex with your girlfriend and punched you in the face at the same time.
So he's into dog fighting? Big fuckin deal. It doesn't affect you in anyway. Like dog-fighting is worse than what the majority of people do, surfing the net for kiddy porn and other scumbag shit like that.
If you hate Vick, come up with a better excuse. Let your real feelings show, its the net. It's not like anyone is going to know.
Only a bunch of lames who've lived sheltered lives in front of their tv's 24/7 would assume somebody is a 'thug' or 'looking for street cred' by what they listen to.. great job exposing yourselves.
Tony,
Are you serious?
The Ron Mexico Incident
The Middle Finger Incident
The Water Bottle Incident
The Dog Fighting Incident
At what point can we start poking fun at him? And by the way, dog fighting is a big deal.
@Tony:
Most of the people surf for kiddie pron or scumbag shit like that?!? What kind of fucked up community do you live in? The finger and water bottle incidents did not bother me in the least, but this dog fighting thing is bad mojo. Anyone that thinks dog fighting is innocuous...I really hope you do not have pets, and keep it that way.
Michael Vick and all involved in this are nothing but sick SOB's and the scum of our society...there is no arguement in this case! Put Michael Vick in a pen with those dogs and see how he does against them.
This whole iTunes playlist thing was stupid, but Vick even talking about it was stupider anybody can listen to any music they want im a white 14 year old kid from Iowa and I listen to a mix of Hardcore Rap, Pop, Rock, Comedy, and Country so this whole iTunes thing was stupid, but vick has about 100 million dollars left on his contract so what kind of total retard would risk all that with dog-fighting if he needs thrills then why doesn't he LEGALLY gamble
As a Holie, I have been a Michael Vick fan since before he steped on Hokie grasss. Yet, it is a sad day when Marcus now is the more upstanding citizen of this already grieving community. How does this make the Kolies look now, Micheal?
Michael Vick is a low life piece of shit! Criminals and large sums of money can only lead to more criminal activities. Shame on the NFL for employing criminals and contributing to unlawful behavior all for the sake of the almighty buck!!
Michael Vick is a typical street thug scumbag piece of shit. Oh yeah, and Tony, you are a fucking idiot. Go have sex with your mom you dipshit. Vick needs to be hung from a fucking street light.
In response to Stark's comment:
"So he's into dog fighting? Big fuckin deal. It doesn't affect you in anyway. Like dog-fighting is worse than what the majority of people do"
Um, even the majority of "kiddy porn scumbags" are saints compared to his "dogfighting", From "The Feed" (http://thefeed.blogs.com/the_feed/nfl/index.html)
"That would be bad enough but it gets worse when the indictment relates what Vick and his co-defendants would do when the dogs weren't up to snuff in fights or training.
One female pit bull lost and after consulting with Vick one of his partners killed it by wetting the dog down and electrocuting her.
Another dog was shot after losing a fight.
8 dogs that didn't do well in testing were executed by methods including "hanging, drowning and slamming at least one dog's body to the ground."
I challenge Mr. Stark to find even a human being murderer/rapist with such a disgusting penchant for cruelty. It's beyond the pale. And he'll get off - which makes us all worse since then we're implicated (since football is more important than those dogs - ZAP! CHOKE! SLAM!)
Hey Tony,
you really do need to see a doctor…you fuckin quack! Were you stoned when you wrote your comments …you fuckin quack?! I hope ti=o hell you dont have any kids because you really dont have any morals it seems.
Oh, and by the way…YOUR A FUCKIN QUACK!
Are you stupid or what? Yes, pitbulls have natural fighting instincts, however they are tortured to bring that out and that's why so many have to be put down because they have been made to be viscious! I have known families who had pitbulls from puppies and they are not ripping people's face's off. And electrocuting, drowing, hanging and slamming them into the ground until they die...yeah..that's normal. You people defending this asshole make me sick. He's an arrogent prick who needs to be put in his place..in a cell with bubba who happens to love animals..who will give this scumbag what he deserves...that oughta humble him real fast...
What is it with these people like Vick? They earn millions, have an influence (mostly negative) on children, yet cannot act like humans. We continue to theorize that their sports ability is linked to genes. It's time we realize that intelligence is also genetic. We've tried to take them out of the trees, but it just doesn't work...they're still monkeys. Try connecting some wires to his balls and plugging it into the electric socket in the wall.
Michael Vick's actions show absolutely no regard for life of any kind. Low-life criminals start by torturing animals. It shows a VERY sick mind. Not to mention it's a felony. There's NO PLACE for felons in the NFL.
A rumor I heard was that Vick had what appeared to be a small vacuum device. They say it may have been used when the breeding went wrong... Oh sorry that was the US Government, planned parenthood and abortion clinics. They weren't killing dogs it was human children...
die, vick, an agonizing and excruciating death. I just wish I could be there to laugh.
Michael Vick deserves the full protection of the law, due process.
Then when he is found guilty, he should be banned from playing the entire year and forfit the year's salary. Then go to jail for the Procto's specialist to fix him up.
Just my opinion.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120147755797
Yup, Michael Vick really IS a douche bag!!
what a waste of talent. hope he gets the harshest penalty.
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