Thursday, July 27, 2006
The Ricky Bobby Stupidity Scale: NBA Offseason
We're not quite done with the NBA offseason yet, but the custom of incompetent NBA GMs making stupid offseason decisions lives on. So, to commemorate the annual tradition that is the NBA offseason craze, we here at the WBRS Sports Blog (specifically me) have started a unique rating system known as the Ricky Bobby Stupidity Scale. Each team will be rated on a scale of 1 to 10 checkered flags, with one being the least stupid and 10 being the most stupid.
"NBA Executives are not thinkers! NBA Executives are basketball people!"
Atlanta Hawks-On the plus side, 2004 #2 pick Marvin Williams dominated a bunch of second-rate NBA players in the Rocky Mountain Revue and the Hawks filled their point guard hole by signing Speedy Claxton for the mid-level exception. Of course, they could have drafted Chris Paul instead of Williams in 2005, re-signed Al Harrington, and still signed Claxton to back up Paul , but that would have made too much sense. In addition, saw their first-round pick Shelden Williams look lost in summer league play, while #7 pick Randy Foye won the MVP. Apparently, Williams finally realized that he wasn't allowed to elbow his defender when executing a drop step. Ricky Bobby Says: 5 checkered flags
Boston Celtics-Does Danny Ainge have any idea what he's doing? Does he have some sort of wager with Isaiah Thomas to see who can assemble the most jumbled roster? This offseason, he has surrounded Paul Pierce with the following players.
Charlotte Bobcats-The Bobcats have to be stoked that Michael Jordan is a part owner of their franchise. After all, who better to lead the young NBA franchise on the path to mediocrity than Air Jordan himself. He really put the Wizards back on the map by drafting Kwame Brown and trading Richard Hamilton for Jerry Stackhouse. With his first NBA draft, Jordan selected Gonzaga forward Adam Morrison, who proceeded to dominate the West Coast Conference...I mean, the Summer League. Who better to be the poster boy for agonizing mediocrity than the man who lay crying on the ground in his last college game. Ricky Bobby Says: 6 checkered flags.
Chicago Bulls-No team should be better equipped to challenge the Minneapolis Lakers next season for the 1952 NBA crown than the Chicago Bulls. In the new wide-open era of the NBA, the Bulls have ensured that they will never have enough scoring to be a championship team. I imagine this is what was going through John Paxton's head this offseason.
"Ben Wallace was once the defensive player of the year! Who cares if he can't score, he's definetly worth 15 million a year until he is 36. Tyrus Thomas blocked 5 shots against Shelden Williams and Duke! He's definetly a better pick than LaMarcus Aldridge! Adrian Griffith started for Dallas last year! He's definetly a better long-term option than J.R. Smith, who has no upside at age 20. P.J. Brown? He's a great intangibles guy who is a much better option down the road than 23-year old Tyson Chandler. Hey, if the New York Knicks can win a championship in the 90s, so can we! What's that? They didn't win the 1994 championship? M.J. told me he felt sorry for them and retired just so they could win one." Ricky Bobby Says: 4 checkered flags.
Cleveland Cavaliers-5 days and counting until the inevitable 5 year, 55 million contract offer to Drew Gooden...Ricky Bobby Says: Incomplete
Dallas Mavericks-Getting rid of the Brokeback Mountain duo of Marquis Daniels and Darrell Armstrong is a bad omen, I'm telling you. Who will Dirk Nowitzki share stories of his wild times with Steve Nash with next year? Ricky Bobby Says: 1 checkered flag.
Denver Nuggets-Seeing as how they didn't have enough mediocre injury-prone power forwards on their roster last year, locking up Nene for 60 million plus fills an immediate glaring need. After all, Kenyon Martin is going to need a buddy in the training room next season. Ricky Bobby Says: 8 checkered flags.
Golden State Warriors-Chris Mullen shrewdly realized that Golden State's biggest problem was locker room amusement, so he signed a 5 year, 60 million dollar deal with Killerspin to get a free ping-pong table. Following that purchase, he traded Derek Fisher to the Utah Jazz for a pack of ping-pong balls and cash. Mullen also drafted Patrick O'Bryant, who should be a great coat hanger for the next 10 years. Ricky Bobby Says: 8 checkered flags.
Houston Rockets-Anytime you can trade a potential superstar and an athletic forward for a Duke graduate, you make that trade in a heartbeat. In a related story, the Rockets have decided to bring Cherokee Parks and Christian Laettner out of retirement. Ricky Bobby Says: 7 checkered flags.
Indiana Pacers-Having noticed the incredible success the Atlanta Hawks have had over the last two years playing without a point guard, the Pacers have decided mold themselves in Atlanta's image and trade away their only healthy point guard for the Brokeback duo. Marquis Daniels, Stephen Jackson, Al Harrington, Danny Granger, and Jermaine O'Neal will cause so many matchup problems. If only they could share the basketball. Ricky Bobby Says: 5 checkered flags.
Los Angeles Clippers-Boy, that Tim Thomas guy offers a ton of upside for only 24 million dollars. After all, he is only 29 years old and has teased us with his potential for the last 9 years. He's definetly going to finally have a breakout year next year, I can feel it. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
Los Angeles Lakers-Vladimir Radmanovic is a perfect fit to be the guy who stands out at the three point line and talks to Jack Nicholson while Kobe Bryant dribbles around on the other side. And who better to dribble the ball to half court, pass to Kobe, and stand in the middle of the half-court circle than a local guy like Jordan Farmar? It's clear Mitch Kupchak is really thinking of making the fans happy at the Staples Center. Ricky Bobby Says: 6 checkered flags.
Memphis Grizzlies-Like a groundhog waiting for the middle of the winter to reappear, Jerry West came out of his 2-year shell to continue ripping off incompetent GMs across the league. But while acquiring Rudy Gay, Stromile Swift, Kyle Lowry, and Alexander Johnson were all shrewd moves, West's best decision was to throw-in Pau Gasol's shaving kit in the Shane Battier deal, thereby ensuring that Gasol will get outplayed in every single playoff series throughout his career. Ricky Bobby Says: 1 checkered flag.
Miami Heat-The Heat have been quiet this offseason, but it is because they are putting all their resources in tracking down former coach Stan Van Gundy to replace the soon-to-retire Pat Riley behind the bench. Ricky Bobby Says: Incomplete
Milwaukee Bucks-See Indiana Pacers blurb. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
Minnesota Timberwolves-Who better to surround a superstar like Kevin Garnett than three shoot-first combo guards who will never let him get the ball? The next time Mike James, comes down and jack up a 24 foot three-pointer with 17 seconds left on the shot clock, don't be surprised if you see Kevin Garnett go Tom Cruise on him and start acting crazy. Ricky Bobby says: 5 checkered flags.
New Jersey Nets-Desperately needing a big man with no offensive or defensive ability, the Nets selected Josh Boone with the 23rd pick of the draft. Apparently, 22nd pick Marcus Williams found a way to steal the Nets' draft board from their war room. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
New Orleans Hornets-After opening up loads of cap space in the last two years, this is what the Hornets have to show for it: A soft European forward who peaked two years ago, an overrated big man who can't score and will soon command a Nene-like contract, an injury prone shooting guard in a point guard's body, and two big man projects that will take time to develop. When Chris Paul demands a trade in 5 years, this offseason will be the reason why. Ricky Bobby Says: 6 checkered flags.
New York Knicks-The Knicks got two huge steals with the 20th and 29th picks. Renaldo Balkman is a name many people have not heard of, but he is going to be a cross between a Charles Barkley and Dennis Rodman for the next 20 years. I can't believe that 19 teams decided to pass up on such a talent. Mardy Collins is probably the most unique point guard to come out of the draft since Penny Hardaway, and will anchor the Knicks backcourt for the next 15 years, just like Penny anchored Orlando's backcourt throughout his career. Wait a minute, who am I kidding, I'm not Isaiah Thomas. Ricky Bobby Says: 10 checkered flags.
Orlando Magic-"Taking J.J. Redick with the 11th pick in the draft was awesome with a capital A, baby! I know a lot of people were saying that Orlando should have picked a more athletic player like Ronnie Brewer down at Arkansas or Rodney Carney at Memphis, but neither of those guys played for 4 years in college for Mike Krzyzewski and the great Duke University! I realize that Redick's back may be a problem baby, but I'm telling you, Redick will follow other great Dukies like Bobby Hurley, Trajan Langdon, and Jason Williams as the next great Duke NBA Player! J.J. is going to be a PTPer, the mayor of Orlando baby!" Ricky Bobby Says: 7 checkered flags.
Philadelphia 76ers-After rejecting a trade proposal that would have sent Gerald Green, Carlos Boozer, AND Randy Foye to the city of brotherly love, Phily GM Billy King has decided that he'd rather field a team that will be mediocre until 2017 than a team that will compete in a couple years. Hey, as long as they don't trade The Answer...Ricky Bobby Says: 8 checkered flags.
Phoenix Suns-Having decided that they are too good for draft picks, the Phoenix Suns put both of their first-round draft picks up on E-Bay for anyone to purchase. Apparently, they didn't learn their lesson in 2004, when they sold the 7th overall pick to the Bulls, passing up on the chance to select Luol Deng or Andre Iguodala. They followed that by signing second-rate point guard Marcus Banks and actively pursuing all-star bench-warmer John Salmons. All the while, Amare Stoudamire is risking his knee with the U.S. Olympic Team, and all the Suns have behind him is the similarly injury-prone Kurt Thomas. Ricky Bobby Says: 7 checkered flags.
Portland Trailblazers-On the positive side, the Trailblazers made lots of changes. Unfortunately, the two players they most needed to get rid of, Zach Randolph and Darius Miles, remain with the team. Ricky Bobby Says: 5 checkered flags.
Sacramento Kings-Sensing that they needed to upgrade their 5th string shooting guard, the Kings went out and signed John Salmons to play behind Bonzi Wells, Kevin Martin, Quincy Douby, and Francisco Garcia. In other news, upon a trade proposal that would have sent Wells to Milwaukee for Jamaal Magloire, Ron Artest called the deal off, saying he would throw a television at Wells if he even thought of leaving the Kings.
San Antonio Spurs-With the acquisitions of Matt Bonner, Eric Williams, Jackie Butler, and Francisco Elson, the Spurs now have four new guys that can stand around on offense while Tim Duncan does all their work. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
Seattle Supersonics-Figuring that they didn't have enough big men who don't know how to play basketball (Robert Swift, Johan Petro, Nick Collison), the Sonics decided to bypass Ronnie Brewer, J.J. Redick, and Rodney Carney to select Saer Sene, who first picked up a basketball three years ago, with the 10th pick in the draft. Upon realizing that he was supposed to pick a basketball team, and not outsourced employees for Starbucks, Howard Schultz sold the team to an Oklahoma City group to focus more on his business. Ricky Bobby Says: 7 checkered flags.
Toronto Raptors-In a shocking decision, Raptor ownership has decied to move the team to Italy, claiming that they needed to "globalize" the game of basketball. Having re-named themselves the "World Raptors," Toronto set out to acquire the best players from each country not in the NBA. Unfortunately, they've only signed the best from Israel, Italy, and Greece so far. Ricky Bobby Says: 3 checkered flags.
Utah Jazz-With Chris Paul, Ronnie Brewer, Andrei Kirilenko, Carlos Boozer, and Mehmet Okur as a starting 5, the Jazz seemed ready to take the Western Conference by storm. Unfortunately, Deron Williams is the starting point guard, Ronnie Brewer makes fans pass out with his jump shot, and Kirilenko and Boozer have become pals in the training room with consistent injuries. In addition, they traded three of their best ping-pong balls to rival Golden State just to acquire Derek Fisher. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
Washington Wizards-Having added Darius Songalia and a poor man's Darius Songalia in Olesiky Pecherov, the Wizards effectively cornered the market on soft Euro players that can't play inside. Of course, since the Wizards have such a good interior defense, it really shouldn't make a difference. In addition, also saw their summer league team get distracted by "disturbing the peace" in Miami Beach. Ricky Bobby Says: 4 checkered flags.
And the winner of the Ricky Bobby wheelchair to the team with the worst offseason goes to......
Isaiah Thomas and the NEW YORK KNICKS. Like you expected anyone else? Honestly?
"Isaiah! Your mind is not paralyzed. It's all in your head!"
"You don't think my mind is paralyzed? [stabs himself] OWWWWWWWWWW!"
"NBA Executives are not thinkers! NBA Executives are basketball people!"
Atlanta Hawks-On the plus side, 2004 #2 pick Marvin Williams dominated a bunch of second-rate NBA players in the Rocky Mountain Revue and the Hawks filled their point guard hole by signing Speedy Claxton for the mid-level exception. Of course, they could have drafted Chris Paul instead of Williams in 2005, re-signed Al Harrington, and still signed Claxton to back up Paul , but that would have made too much sense. In addition, saw their first-round pick Shelden Williams look lost in summer league play, while #7 pick Randy Foye won the MVP. Apparently, Williams finally realized that he wasn't allowed to elbow his defender when executing a drop step. Ricky Bobby Says: 5 checkered flags
Boston Celtics-Does Danny Ainge have any idea what he's doing? Does he have some sort of wager with Isaiah Thomas to see who can assemble the most jumbled roster? This offseason, he has surrounded Paul Pierce with the following players.
- Sebastian Telfair: Tiny point guard who can't shoot. Great for all the double-teams Pierce will face.
- Rajon Rondo-A poor man's Telfair.
- Theo Ratliff-A center who can't score and peaked 4 years ago as a defensive presence.
- Allan Ray, Leon Powe, and Kevin Pittsnogle-Good luck seeing the court behind Telfair, Rondo, Delonte West, Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, and Kendrick Perkins!
Charlotte Bobcats-The Bobcats have to be stoked that Michael Jordan is a part owner of their franchise. After all, who better to lead the young NBA franchise on the path to mediocrity than Air Jordan himself. He really put the Wizards back on the map by drafting Kwame Brown and trading Richard Hamilton for Jerry Stackhouse. With his first NBA draft, Jordan selected Gonzaga forward Adam Morrison, who proceeded to dominate the West Coast Conference...I mean, the Summer League. Who better to be the poster boy for agonizing mediocrity than the man who lay crying on the ground in his last college game. Ricky Bobby Says: 6 checkered flags.Chicago Bulls-No team should be better equipped to challenge the Minneapolis Lakers next season for the 1952 NBA crown than the Chicago Bulls. In the new wide-open era of the NBA, the Bulls have ensured that they will never have enough scoring to be a championship team. I imagine this is what was going through John Paxton's head this offseason.
"Ben Wallace was once the defensive player of the year! Who cares if he can't score, he's definetly worth 15 million a year until he is 36. Tyrus Thomas blocked 5 shots against Shelden Williams and Duke! He's definetly a better pick than LaMarcus Aldridge! Adrian Griffith started for Dallas last year! He's definetly a better long-term option than J.R. Smith, who has no upside at age 20. P.J. Brown? He's a great intangibles guy who is a much better option down the road than 23-year old Tyson Chandler. Hey, if the New York Knicks can win a championship in the 90s, so can we! What's that? They didn't win the 1994 championship? M.J. told me he felt sorry for them and retired just so they could win one." Ricky Bobby Says: 4 checkered flags.
Cleveland Cavaliers-5 days and counting until the inevitable 5 year, 55 million contract offer to Drew Gooden...Ricky Bobby Says: Incomplete
Dallas Mavericks-Getting rid of the Brokeback Mountain duo of Marquis Daniels and Darrell Armstrong is a bad omen, I'm telling you. Who will Dirk Nowitzki share stories of his wild times with Steve Nash with next year? Ricky Bobby Says: 1 checkered flag.
Denver Nuggets-Seeing as how they didn't have enough mediocre injury-prone power forwards on their roster last year, locking up Nene for 60 million plus fills an immediate glaring need. After all, Kenyon Martin is going to need a buddy in the training room next season. Ricky Bobby Says: 8 checkered flags.
Golden State Warriors-Chris Mullen shrewdly realized that Golden State's biggest problem was locker room amusement, so he signed a 5 year, 60 million dollar deal with Killerspin to get a free ping-pong table. Following that purchase, he traded Derek Fisher to the Utah Jazz for a pack of ping-pong balls and cash. Mullen also drafted Patrick O'Bryant, who should be a great coat hanger for the next 10 years. Ricky Bobby Says: 8 checkered flags.Houston Rockets-Anytime you can trade a potential superstar and an athletic forward for a Duke graduate, you make that trade in a heartbeat. In a related story, the Rockets have decided to bring Cherokee Parks and Christian Laettner out of retirement. Ricky Bobby Says: 7 checkered flags.
Indiana Pacers-Having noticed the incredible success the Atlanta Hawks have had over the last two years playing without a point guard, the Pacers have decided mold themselves in Atlanta's image and trade away their only healthy point guard for the Brokeback duo. Marquis Daniels, Stephen Jackson, Al Harrington, Danny Granger, and Jermaine O'Neal will cause so many matchup problems. If only they could share the basketball. Ricky Bobby Says: 5 checkered flags.
Los Angeles Clippers-Boy, that Tim Thomas guy offers a ton of upside for only 24 million dollars. After all, he is only 29 years old and has teased us with his potential for the last 9 years. He's definetly going to finally have a breakout year next year, I can feel it. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
Los Angeles Lakers-Vladimir Radmanovic is a perfect fit to be the guy who stands out at the three point line and talks to Jack Nicholson while Kobe Bryant dribbles around on the other side. And who better to dribble the ball to half court, pass to Kobe, and stand in the middle of the half-court circle than a local guy like Jordan Farmar? It's clear Mitch Kupchak is really thinking of making the fans happy at the Staples Center. Ricky Bobby Says: 6 checkered flags.
Memphis Grizzlies-Like a groundhog waiting for the middle of the winter to reappear, Jerry West came out of his 2-year shell to continue ripping off incompetent GMs across the league. But while acquiring Rudy Gay, Stromile Swift, Kyle Lowry, and Alexander Johnson were all shrewd moves, West's best decision was to throw-in Pau Gasol's shaving kit in the Shane Battier deal, thereby ensuring that Gasol will get outplayed in every single playoff series throughout his career. Ricky Bobby Says: 1 checkered flag.Miami Heat-The Heat have been quiet this offseason, but it is because they are putting all their resources in tracking down former coach Stan Van Gundy to replace the soon-to-retire Pat Riley behind the bench. Ricky Bobby Says: Incomplete
Milwaukee Bucks-See Indiana Pacers blurb. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
Minnesota Timberwolves-Who better to surround a superstar like Kevin Garnett than three shoot-first combo guards who will never let him get the ball? The next time Mike James, comes down and jack up a 24 foot three-pointer with 17 seconds left on the shot clock, don't be surprised if you see Kevin Garnett go Tom Cruise on him and start acting crazy. Ricky Bobby says: 5 checkered flags.
New Jersey Nets-Desperately needing a big man with no offensive or defensive ability, the Nets selected Josh Boone with the 23rd pick of the draft. Apparently, 22nd pick Marcus Williams found a way to steal the Nets' draft board from their war room. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
New Orleans Hornets-After opening up loads of cap space in the last two years, this is what the Hornets have to show for it: A soft European forward who peaked two years ago, an overrated big man who can't score and will soon command a Nene-like contract, an injury prone shooting guard in a point guard's body, and two big man projects that will take time to develop. When Chris Paul demands a trade in 5 years, this offseason will be the reason why. Ricky Bobby Says: 6 checkered flags.
New York Knicks-The Knicks got two huge steals with the 20th and 29th picks. Renaldo Balkman is a name many people have not heard of, but he is going to be a cross between a Charles Barkley and Dennis Rodman for the next 20 years. I can't believe that 19 teams decided to pass up on such a talent. Mardy Collins is probably the most unique point guard to come out of the draft since Penny Hardaway, and will anchor the Knicks backcourt for the next 15 years, just like Penny anchored Orlando's backcourt throughout his career. Wait a minute, who am I kidding, I'm not Isaiah Thomas. Ricky Bobby Says: 10 checkered flags.
Orlando Magic-"Taking J.J. Redick with the 11th pick in the draft was awesome with a capital A, baby! I know a lot of people were saying that Orlando should have picked a more athletic player like Ronnie Brewer down at Arkansas or Rodney Carney at Memphis, but neither of those guys played for 4 years in college for Mike Krzyzewski and the great Duke University! I realize that Redick's back may be a problem baby, but I'm telling you, Redick will follow other great Dukies like Bobby Hurley, Trajan Langdon, and Jason Williams as the next great Duke NBA Player! J.J. is going to be a PTPer, the mayor of Orlando baby!" Ricky Bobby Says: 7 checkered flags.Philadelphia 76ers-After rejecting a trade proposal that would have sent Gerald Green, Carlos Boozer, AND Randy Foye to the city of brotherly love, Phily GM Billy King has decided that he'd rather field a team that will be mediocre until 2017 than a team that will compete in a couple years. Hey, as long as they don't trade The Answer...Ricky Bobby Says: 8 checkered flags.
Phoenix Suns-Having decided that they are too good for draft picks, the Phoenix Suns put both of their first-round draft picks up on E-Bay for anyone to purchase. Apparently, they didn't learn their lesson in 2004, when they sold the 7th overall pick to the Bulls, passing up on the chance to select Luol Deng or Andre Iguodala. They followed that by signing second-rate point guard Marcus Banks and actively pursuing all-star bench-warmer John Salmons. All the while, Amare Stoudamire is risking his knee with the U.S. Olympic Team, and all the Suns have behind him is the similarly injury-prone Kurt Thomas. Ricky Bobby Says: 7 checkered flags.
Portland Trailblazers-On the positive side, the Trailblazers made lots of changes. Unfortunately, the two players they most needed to get rid of, Zach Randolph and Darius Miles, remain with the team. Ricky Bobby Says: 5 checkered flags.
Sacramento Kings-Sensing that they needed to upgrade their 5th string shooting guard, the Kings went out and signed John Salmons to play behind Bonzi Wells, Kevin Martin, Quincy Douby, and Francisco Garcia. In other news, upon a trade proposal that would have sent Wells to Milwaukee for Jamaal Magloire, Ron Artest called the deal off, saying he would throw a television at Wells if he even thought of leaving the Kings.
San Antonio Spurs-With the acquisitions of Matt Bonner, Eric Williams, Jackie Butler, and Francisco Elson, the Spurs now have four new guys that can stand around on offense while Tim Duncan does all their work. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
Seattle Supersonics-Figuring that they didn't have enough big men who don't know how to play basketball (Robert Swift, Johan Petro, Nick Collison), the Sonics decided to bypass Ronnie Brewer, J.J. Redick, and Rodney Carney to select Saer Sene, who first picked up a basketball three years ago, with the 10th pick in the draft. Upon realizing that he was supposed to pick a basketball team, and not outsourced employees for Starbucks, Howard Schultz sold the team to an Oklahoma City group to focus more on his business. Ricky Bobby Says: 7 checkered flags.Toronto Raptors-In a shocking decision, Raptor ownership has decied to move the team to Italy, claiming that they needed to "globalize" the game of basketball. Having re-named themselves the "World Raptors," Toronto set out to acquire the best players from each country not in the NBA. Unfortunately, they've only signed the best from Israel, Italy, and Greece so far. Ricky Bobby Says: 3 checkered flags.
Utah Jazz-With Chris Paul, Ronnie Brewer, Andrei Kirilenko, Carlos Boozer, and Mehmet Okur as a starting 5, the Jazz seemed ready to take the Western Conference by storm. Unfortunately, Deron Williams is the starting point guard, Ronnie Brewer makes fans pass out with his jump shot, and Kirilenko and Boozer have become pals in the training room with consistent injuries. In addition, they traded three of their best ping-pong balls to rival Golden State just to acquire Derek Fisher. Ricky Bobby Says: 2 checkered flags.
Washington Wizards-Having added Darius Songalia and a poor man's Darius Songalia in Olesiky Pecherov, the Wizards effectively cornered the market on soft Euro players that can't play inside. Of course, since the Wizards have such a good interior defense, it really shouldn't make a difference. In addition, also saw their summer league team get distracted by "disturbing the peace" in Miami Beach. Ricky Bobby Says: 4 checkered flags.
And the winner of the Ricky Bobby wheelchair to the team with the worst offseason goes to......
Isaiah Thomas and the NEW YORK KNICKS. Like you expected anyone else? Honestly?
"Isaiah! Your mind is not paralyzed. It's all in your head!"
"You don't think my mind is paralyzed? [stabs himself] OWWWWWWWWWW!"
9 Comments:
Heh, if K-Mart is traded, Nene should be able to fill the 'overpaid, injury-prone PF' role extremely well!
5 year - $55 mil offer to Gooden? Yikes. Thanks for only the 1 flag to Dallas.
Jerry West is such a good GM, but Pau Gasol looks like a bum. I think I saw someone that looks like him on a park bench yesterday. It was probably him actually now that I think about it.
I can't wait to see this movie. Ali G is in it! Oh yea, the NBA sucks my balls.
Good stuff, but don't sleep on D-Will and D-Brew, and you still have Salmons going to the Suns.
Be careful what you read. I have the Suns marked down for "actively pursuing" Salmons, not signing him. The whole Salmons saga was so ridiculous to me. Somehow, you have three teams that are willing to pay almost 5 million dollars a season to a guy who has averaged 5 points and 2 rebounds for his career. Then, Salmons, for some strange reason, decides to turn down a chance to play with Bryan Colangelo's Raptors, a team that is perfect for his style. Instead of Toronto, he signs with Sacramento, a team currently employing 4 other lanky shooting guards. Unbelievable.
And for the record, I actually liked Utah's offseason. Note that they only got 2 checkered flags.
And as a final post-script to this entry, Isaiah Thomas has officially earned his Ricky Bobby wheelchair by offering the full mid-level exception for Jared Jeffries. Jeffries is a terrible offensive player and a decent defensive player. For 6 million a year? Unbelievable. If the Wizards are smart, they let Jeffries go and replace him with Andray Blache.
What happened to the checkered flags on the Sacramento Kings?
That was a good Ron Artest line but then no flags... what gives? Does Ricky Bobby hate Sac-town?
Wow, I can't believe I missed that one. Good catch.
Ricky Bobby really didn't like what Sacramento did this offseason. He understands that they really needed a good backup PG and C and that they really should not have even bothered with John Salmons. So, Ricky Bobby says, 7 checkered flags.
While I agree that the situation in Boston is a mess (and will only get worse in time) saying that it’s going to be the worse Celtics team in history is a little harsh. Pierce + crap still equals at least a 30 win team. I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m bragging, cause they still suck.
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