WBRS Sports Blog

First I would like to thank Deadspin, Baseball Musings, and Twins Geek again for kindly linking me yesterday...


Do you and your wife desperately need a break from the kids? A night off? Maybe even a weekend getaway? Well the solution to your problem lies right in front of your eyes! The Long Beach Armada baseball team, an independent baseball team in the Golden Baseball League, is seeking host families for their players.



Sign up to host a player, sneak out the backdoor with the wife for the weekend, and the ballplayer in essence becomes your babysitter for the weekend! And boy have I found the perfect Long Beach Armada "babysitter" for you...




First off, Jose isn't some young kid, but a well-traveled, cultured, experienced 43-year-old. If any of your children get a boo-boo, Jose always comes armed with a needle and syringe. The man has spent more time around needles than most medical students! Canseco is so knowledgeable in that area that congress has even invited him on multiple occasions to speak as an expert on the topic.




While this is a bit old-fashioned, plenty of parents advocate spanking their children. And if your kids act up and are in need of one, Jose isn't gun shy. The former MLBer has a storied history of using physical violence rather than words. Sure this has landed Jose in an orange jumpsuit one or two times, but in regard to the philosophy of physical abuse, isn't more better than less?




Finally, you might think "what if he doesn't interact with my kids but instead chooses to neglect them all weekend along?" Well, no worry here, Jose is a connoisseur in the genre of theater and loves getting others involved and up on the stage! Just look at the way he re-enacts this bar fight he and his brother, Ozzie, experienced in Miami Beach in 2001.


If Jose can't be trusted with your kids, who can?